The Animals Are Going Crackers

As a child my summer would be incomplete without a visit to The Catskill Game Farm. For this very reason I was horrified when I found out a few years ago that this prestigious and well-loved zoo was going to close. It was one of the only zoos where the animals were still close enough to see them. You would walk around with animal crackers-feel the slimy tongue of a camel reaching for the treat. Before you could traverse the main area you were escorted to go through the petting zoo which was almost like hazing.

In the babies section-anyone who dared to buy a bottle and trudge through would be accosted by a hoard of screaming infant menagerie. Little goats, little lambs, little confused pot belly pigs. It was horrifying AND amazing. These memories of me staring down at my t-shirt covered in mud from the hooves of crazed llamas and deer is something I will never forget and I was devastated to believe that an entire generation of kids would go without these life changing experiences.

I was happy to find last time I went up there that now they have a Discovery Petting Zoo that seems to have actually

taken some of the animals from my beloved Catskill Game Farm. It's a small,

compact area located behind the Baliwick Ranch but it packs a punch.

The animals are all surprisingly personable for being wild and traditionally from Africa and other such non US countries. The tiger is a charming kitten that purrs and plays with pots like a ball of yarn. A camel and a parrot spend their day waiting for their next feed behind a barely existent fence. A motley crew of rejects that somehow have managed to commune together like a hapless of hoard of random hippies.

However-as I wandered through the fenced in areas I began to feel that mayhaps the animals are too close for comfort and The Bronx Zoo might be onto something after all. My turning point came at the end of my journey when at the exit I happened upon a boy training a bear cub. I thought it was sweet, they would make a little show and have him do tricks. "No." The boy explained "this bear is my pet, and he'll always be my pet even when he gets all big."

As much as I appreciate the entire Swiss Family Robinson appeal of that situation I still can't climb on the train of let the bear be a pet. In my mind it's flash forwarding to that fateful moment when the grown bears talon like claws detract and swipe him across the face disfiguring him for life as the boy:now a man falls to his knees yelling "but he never did anything like this before!."

Maybe I'm a cynic and I should just go commune with some more wild animals until my face gets chewed off. I'm sorry, did I say that-I meant before my face gets LOVED off.

The Catskill Cats!

Ain't they cute?

The Catskill Cats visit the town of Catskill in upstate New York annually. They remind me significantly of the NY cows that were hanging around in the city a few years back. Or dare I say even the Long Island horses I've seen in drips and drabs on corners.

Local artists all create their own catspiration and it lines the main street for haphazard tourists to see who make the wrong turn and find them.

Ostrich on a plate

This is Ostrich-cooked. This is me eating said Ostrich. Oddly it doesn't taste like chicken. It tastes like an amazing beef hybrid and it is delicious!

And then I decided to go see a real ostrich and say "I'm sorry, I may have consumed one of your distant relatives. Apologies all around."

The Ducks Are Getting Too Comfortable

I remember a time when ducks stood and stared-webbed feet quaking at the close proximity of a human hand. The only lure a crunchy aging slice of wonder break thrown in small chunks at their anxious excitable beaks.

This duck is daring. He wants nothing but to stand solidly staring. He is a renegade. In the evolution of ducks-he will lead the revolution.