Vielen Dank

Back in the age of Oprah-the late nineties when the world hung upon her every word I remember sliding into the squeaky leather couch in my den-reclining back and hearing her tell me to say "thank you."  She suggested I keep a "thank you" journal, well not just me, all of America but it felt like she was talking to me.  

I decided that's what I was missing in my adolescent existence.  Instead of selfishly and vain gloriously staring at the trials I underwent daily I would say many thanks.  Vielen dank if you will.  I took the time that was my independent study and found a nook in the library to begin my project. Sandwiched in between the theater section and the periodicals I found a four walled dome to relax.  Here I thought-I would become a new person washed clean of all prior malcontent.

I sat down opening carefully the crisp clean pages of a butterfly journal I had been given for a nondescript holiday and set out on my journey of self-discovery.  Thank you.........for.......I was drawing a blank.  I didn't know where to begin.  What do you write down on paper that you are thankful for?  The sun, the moon, food-pleasant conversation, a clean pair of pants to put on-flan?  It was too much to ponder and with that I closed the door on my thank you journal and on my supposed rebirth.

Why think of this today-nearly ten years after my initial urge plucked my heartstrings.  I realized that it's ridiculous to write down why you're thankful.  What is that going to do?  It's like writing down I will never eat an egg roll again when you know that every Friday you'll stare in the window of a Chinese eatery and end up ordering an egg roll.  I think maybe what I should have been told by the afternoon television guru is perchance go out and be thankful or let people know you appreciate what they do.  Which she may have said anyway.