Powering Up

Everyone does it....

Have that epiphany that the reason they feel so lethargic at 10a.m. is because they're eating a processed freeze dried meal every night due to time constraints and general malaise.

I am of course one of the endless foot soldiers that worship at the alter of how do I make my tortoise of a metabolism beat the hare? Is it possible? Am I fighting a war that will end in stalemate?

In past years people have done the Atkins, South Beach, cleanses with cayenne pepper and piss water, and never forget the notorious cabbage soup diet that simulates sea sickness on land, anything Suzanne Somers claims leads to everlasting life, and the always popular starvation plan which doesn't need a book just a tremendous amount of will power and an unhealthy attitude toward body image. This year everyone is gaga for power foods which I suppose is the better part of valour compared to those other winning weight loss regiments. Ironically, once I started focusing on power foods it was all I could see like the hallucination of a hamburger in the middle of the Gobi Desert - they are EVERYWHERE and everyone wants a piece of them.

As noted from the cover raspberries and blueberries are of course on the power food menu. Nuts, lean meats, eggs. Basically, anything your grandmother told you to finish instead of the creamed spinach. Of course, sauces and other flavorings are out of the question. We are going all natural here right down to the yoga mats we should equally be carrying and our core training on Tuesday nights.

In the same way, the devil of the power food movement lurks in the shadows. He is pink and impressive with an entirely new add campaign. One of the no no's of the power food movement is artificial sweeteners. They make food palatable and for that, they should be executed. Instead they offer you should use natural sweeteners that have no taste but I stay true to my pink power regardless of the foods I am endeavoring on consuming.

How could you say no to this adorable bird grasping the sweet & low packet - it's charming.

And after I have an affair with the pink packets of doom I saunter back to my new attempt at staying young forever. In a culture who fears death, we cross our fingers and click our toes together that something will save us. And this year, our savior could potentially be a nice fillet of salmon gingerly laid over a bed of leafy greens, blueberries, strawberries, and a 1/4 a cup of feta tossed in for good measure because hey, it's always worth a shot.

Who knows? It may give me unreasonable bounds of super human strength. Oh wait, forgive me, that's a freak accident that would occur in a superhero movie. This time I'll just have to settle with it will make me feel more awake at 10a.m.